There is an itch that affects a lot of people in the corporate world. It starts around 40, give or take. They start feeling like there needs to be something more. Their quest for fulfillment and job satisfaction becomes overwhelming and they feel that the need a change...any change. Some may take on a new role in the same company. Others quit and go to work for other companies. And some go into business for themselves. In this episode we explore some of the symptoms of the 40-year itch and some of the possible reasons why so many people become dissatisfied in their 40s and early 50s.
There is an itch that affects a lot of people in the corporate world. It starts around 40, give or take. They start feeling like there needs to be something more. Their quest for fulfillment and job satisfaction becomes overwhelming and they feel that the need a change...any change. Some may take on a new role in the same company. Others quit and go to work for other companies. And some go into business for themselves. In this episode we explore some of the symptoms of the 40-year itch and some of the possible reasons why so many people become dissatisfied in their 40s and early 50s.
Today I want to talk about job satisfaction in our middle ages.
🦟 There is this itch that starts around the age of 40.
🕰 By the time you hit your mid-40s, it's noticeably different how you feel about your job. You start hearing that little word “fulfillment” whispered in your head on a regular basis. 🤫
(fulfillment)
Then you get to your late 40's, and you don't know if you can do it anymore. You’re spinning wheels, it’s status quo. Same old same old. 🎡
But the truth is…it's not the same.
🤔 Something has changed. You are not the same. Your work is not the same.
You need something more, like deep in your gut. 👊 🌈 🤗 🍁
The general timeline varies, and I know some people feel this way their entire lives…like, there’s something more.
But I've talked to a lot of people—mostly women but not exclusively so—who have gone through a similar experience. Somewhere around 40, give or take…it hits, and it doesn't go away. ⏳
Sometimes people scratch this itch by moving into a different role. Some might start working for a different company altogether. And a lot of people just say “fuck you” to the corporate world and start their own business. 🖕🏼🖕🏾🖕🏻
The symptoms I’ve experienced and heard about from others tend to include things like:
🧠 You no longer tolerate the bullshit of your job where maybe before it didn’t rock you as much.
🧠 You feel like something is missing. You’ve been doing your job for years (and successfully!) but it no longer provides fulfillment.
🧠 You start to switch from prioritizing income and stability to prioritizing happiness and satisfaction in what you do to earn a living.
🧠 You cannot deny that you are moving toward a big change…even though that change—whatever it may be—is a very scary thing. Because to stay there, where you are, is even more frightening.
🐛 This itch happened to me in a previous job. I didn't feel effective anymore. I was lost in the noise, lost in the chaos of a big corporation. I was surrounded by great people, amazing leadership, I was in a stable position and I was well-paid...but something had changed. 🦋
I worked for 16 years for a wonderful company in Michigan. Other than a very dark couple of years that culminated in a big bacon-themed protest (which you can read about in Where The Hell Is My Bacon?), it was a great place to work. 🥓📚
I started off just after graduating from college with a technology degree. The first decade was fantastic. If you had asked me, during that time, would I ever leave my job, I would have said absolutely not. ❌
In fact, my husband did ask me this very question when he was looking for a job in 2008 after his company folded during the recession. He was looking for his next opportunity and asked me if he should keep his job search local. I told him that I was absolutely not moving because I loved my job.
🦷 And this was right after I had come off a huge, three-year project that was so stressful that I started wearing a bite splint because I was clenching my teeth so badly.
But I said no, I’m never leaving. I loved my job.
😲 Then things started to change. First, I became a manager, and it took me a long time to find any kind of fulfillment in that role. I was all of a sudden not working for my own satisfaction, but instead responsible for ensuring the job satisfaction of an entire team of people. That was a hard adjustment.
I was also working multiple roles. I had too much to do and no prioritization, everything was critical. 🌪
I started going through what a lot of people go through at that age, after a lot of years in the rat race. I really wanted to be effective and valued and successful again. I craved fulfillment and found none. I got burned out. The money and stability I had after working 16 years for the same company became secondary to happiness.
☝🏽 And I know so many people with similar stories.
What is it about our 40s and 50s where we start getting this itch that we never had before?
👩🏻🦰👨🏽👱🏻♀️👨🏼🦳🧔🏻🧑🏼🦳👩🏾🦱 There isn’t any one thing that sticks out as the smoking gun. The reasons why this happens are pretty diverse, unique to the individual, but there are some common themes and I want to explore a few that stand out.
1. As we age, we are looked at differently.
🦕There is no doubt that we don’t exactly revere aging, at least not in the US. I think a lot of people—especially women, who, whether you like it or not, do tend to get judged a little harder as we age—start to sense this subtle change in perception toward us when we hit our 40s.
Some of that may be internal. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was legit. I see it today. Women of a certain age, especially ones who speak out, tend to bring out the slightly patronizing and condescending tones just a teensy bit more than others. 🙄
Not from everyone. But you notice the one.
And no doubt this plays into our job satisfaction.
2. After years or even decades at the same or similar jobs, we get burned out.
🔥 Oh yeah. For me this was huge.
I read an article recently in psychologicalscience.org about some research on job satisfaction (link below). It showed that while job satisfaction tends to improve as we get older…it also tends to decrease the longer we stay at a particular job.
Apparently, there is this kind of honeymoon period when we first start a job but then it goes downhill from there. Which is fascinating, because if this is true, then the job hoppers are the ones who really have it figured out! 🦘
This study makes total sense to me. I was experiencing major burnout when I left my last job after 16 years. Everything was a priority, there was no focus, it was all noise. And I know a lot of people working for that company today who are still living that chaos. 😫
🌪 All I was doing was keeping my head above water, trying to get things done, just trying to get things checked off my massive list. But there was never any sense of actual success or fulfillment, even when something was completed.
After a while, the thought of doing something new…anything…was very appealing. Even thought I worked for an awesome boss in an awesome department and managed an amazing team, it just wasn’t enough.
3. Something changes at work and it drives you out.
Often there is something tangible that kickstarts that itch:
😳 “I loved my job for seven years, then something changed, and then I hated it.”
😳 “It was great until they hired a new management team.”
😳 “They brought in a CIO from another industry, she hired a bunch of her colleagues, outsourced our jobs, and then someone removed bacon from the cafeteria salad bar.” 🥓
Okay, that last one was mine.
🌎 🌍 🌏 All it takes is one thing to turn your world upside down. This can happen at any age obviously, but I think when we get into our middle years, we have less tolerance for the bullshit than we did when we were young whippersnappers. 🐣
Which is ironic because we also often have more to lose.
4. When we reach those middle ages, we finally have the courage, the confidence, to go after what we want.
Personally, I think this is huge.
🦁 I have heard a lot of people say they never had the guts to quit their job or speak out to their management team or start their own business when they were younger. But at some point, they were comfortable enough in their own skin to find the courage to make a change.
Maybe 40 is the new Fuck You. 🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾
I mean, let’s face it. There are a lot of things going on around that age that pave the way for a career change.
👍🏾 The kids (if you have them) are often out of the house, on their own. You no longer have as much focus on them.
👍🏽 You’ve got a good amount of years or even decades of work and life experience.
👍🏻 You’re probably a bit more financially stable, on average. Income is good, maybe you’ve even put some away for a rainy day.
Suddenly, you find yourself brave enough to go through with it. And I think that’s pretty cool! 😎
These are a few of the more common reasons I’ve heard for people getting this itch for fulfillment in their 40’s and early 50’s. There are probably a hundred more factors to consider.
But there’s one thing that really stands out to me, as someone who has spent the last 20 years in the corporate world:
We let a lot of really good people go. And that is sad.
But as it happens…sometimes a company loss is a gain for the rest of the world. BOOM.
I plan on talking a lot more about what comes after the itch in the coming months. But for now, I want to hear from you:
❓❓❓Tell me...have you gone through this?
❓❓❓Did your need for fulfillment correlate to anything tangible?
❓❓❓Was it strictly an internal feeling?
❓❓❓Do you think we get perceived differently as we age?
🧠 Let me know your thoughts about this in the comments.
All right Grit Brigade…don’t forget to follow #cafegrit here on LinkedIn and check out the Café Grit Podcast for more real conversations about corporate life, careers, the quest for fulfillment, and finding your voice (links below). Please leave a review on the platform of your choice if you think it doesn’t suck!
You can also find more information and more discussion in our private Facebook Group Café Grit. I’d love to hear your comments, questions, suggestions for future topics, or corrections (except for the Grammar police…you all can just keep your damn mouths shut, no one wants to hear from you).
And check out Where The Hell Is My Bacon: How An Innocent Pork Product Conquered Employee Engagement And Change Management At A Large Midwestern Corporation for the true story of how one stressed-out IT department found their voice through bacon.
That’s all for now, we’ll talk to you soon…and remember: You don’t have to deal with the bullshit, and there IS something better out there. Let’s figure it out together.
Take it easy…