In S1E06 we read some of your comments on the first few episodes. Then we introduce an exciting new bonus feature: F U ASSHAT! Sometimes you need an anonymous FU thrown out by a middle-aged podcaster who calls out corporate BS. We have two this episode and it does feel good.
In S1E06 we read some of your comments on the first few episodes. Then we introduce an exciting new bonus feature: F U ASSHAT! Sometimes you need an anonymous FU thrown out by a middle-aged podcaster who calls out corporate BS. We have two this episode and it does feel good.
Beth Anne Campbell 0:04
Welcome to Cafe Grit. My name is Beth Anne Campbell and I'm the author of "Where the hell is my bacon?" a book about shitty corporate leadership and fried pork. I've worked in the corporate world now for over 20 years and I've seen just about everything. I opened Cafe Grit as a place where you can join me in figuring out how to make your career life better. Whether it's finding your voice at your current job, pursuing something entirely different or working for yourself. This is a place to go when you've got a hankering for purpose, a taste for fulfillment and you're tired of living the rat race. Thanks for stopping in Cafe Grit is now open for service.
Beth Anne Campbell 0:47
Hey everybody, welcome to cafe grit season one episode six recap comments and FU Asshat! - a new feature that I'm going to try out.
Beth Anne Campbell 0:56
So before we start, I do want to let you know that I'm really trying hard to work on my speaking. Because as I'm mixing these podcasts, it's painfully apparent. Not only do I routinely go into this Peter Brady, time to change thing, which the joke is getting very old, but I also say things like, "I'm right, you know, so like, anyways," way too often, I'm clearly a Gen Xer. I like sounding natural, but I do need to work on this.
Beth Anne Campbell 1:27
So bear with me, speaking slowly and allowing for silent vocal pauses, not very comfortable for me. But I also need to sound like I'm not rambling all the time. So thank you for your patience.
Beth Anne Campbell 1:38
In this episode, we're going to read some comments I've gotten from people on the topics we've done so far. So things like the hiring process where we talked about why it sucks; the 40 Year Itch, where we get into our 40s and 50s and need fulfillment; and then egos in the workplace. So let's start off the show with some feedback on some previous episodes. So I'll start with the job hiring process. Why does it suck? In this episode I talked about real world experience of a friend of mine, Ruby Scooby, and how she went through multiple interviews for a job, and then she got ghosted. And then we talked a little bit about why some of this stuff happens and how shitty it is.
Beth Anne Campbell 2:13
By the way, all of the comments that you're going to hear today are public comments. These are all things that were taken from public posts. I do have a private Facebook group, and anything that's there stays there. And anything that comes into my direct messaging, private messaging stays there, unless I'm given explicit permission to put it out there. So just know that these are all public comments.
Beth Anne Campbell 2:36
So the first comment on the job hiring process from Susan, Susan says, "I once had six interviews for a job. My pride almost had me canceled the last one, but I didn't and finally got the job. The funny thing is my boss later said she knew in the first week she'd made the right decision." Well, I'm so glad Susan at least got her job. And this is probably the record that I've heard six interviews. Now, I did hear somebody who had four and then got ghosted, but six is a top I hope if you're in six interviews you better damn well get the job. That's just that's too much people...really?
Beth Anne Campbell 3:14
Alright Leslie says, "when I was still interviewing for product marketing manager positions I found myself being interviewed by people who weren't even born when I started my first job. I could tell by the questions they asked in the astoundingly obvious lack of enthusiasm for my credentials, that the millennials in question had no interest whatsoever in my experience or wisdom. Perhaps they thought, another Boomer or perhaps they had friends in mind for the role in any event, I think there was some undefined an intangible measure of ageism in play at both my previous employer and at the hiring companies.' Now, I'm not going to come down to millennials. I've got many millennials in my family and I love you. And actually...actually. You know, when people say actually, it just makes them sound so snooty. So that's another thing I've got to work on. So young people are often biased against as well when they come in and they're perceived as not having enough experience, too green I've heard and so this is a real thing of all ages, so I'm not coming down on millennials Gen Z Gen Y whatever you're calling ourselves today. I will say though that I do agree with Leslie that there is an ageism towards older people that is a little bit more prevalent and certainly towards women. So yes, it does happen. It is a hard thing. This is why we have laws in many places against asking about age, but obviously if you show up to the event you...people know right? And then that bias comes out. So I'm sorry that Leslie had to go through this sucks.
Beth Anne Campbell 4:47
All right, I'm going to go on to the 40 Year Itch. This is season one, Episode Four. And in this episode, I talked about the feeling that people get in their 40s and 50s when they lack fulfillment in their career. They start seeking for something new, longing for something different. I talked about what that looks like and some of the reasons why it might happen.
Beth Anne Campbell 5:07
So David says, "not sure that age changed my work dissatisfaction for me, I think it came down to me becoming wiser. In my last job, I got the final component of my industry, I needed and found out that it was not what I wanted anymore. My trade and pay changed drastically and it wasn't the same vibe. Also get tired of every four to eight years, the industry would throw out a would go through a purge of employees. It was time to get out." So David touches upon a couple of things. One is something tangible, something tangible happened. He talks about his pay changed. His trade changed, wasn't the same vibe. And that's very common, where something happens that prompts people to go...and I don't think that's the only thing and David does talk about. It was his wisdom. He was in a different place mentally where it was time to go. And I think a lot of us have been there where before we may have put up with something, and we just get to a point where we feel that comfort level, that confidence, and it's just time to go, and that just happens to happen. That happens to happen. That happens quite often when we're in our 40s and 50s.
Beth Anne Campbell 6:17
Another comment from Leslie she says "I had a lucrative job with an established company, but management changed, the culture changed, I changed, and suddenly it was not enough anymore. I trudged on for a while lulled by the paycheck and benefits package. Then a series of events convinced me it was time to go don't regret it for a moment." Well, awesome. Fist bump to you, Leslie for following your dreams. And again, she talks about several things that happen. Tangible--management changed, the culture changed--but also internal. She changed. And the being lulled by the package is a big thing, that happened to me. I was being incented in one of my previous jobs that I left. I was being incented incented monetarily to stay And it just wasn't enough, you get to a point where some of us if we're lucky enough to have incomes that are comfortable, that the money doesn't mean anything.
Beth Anne Campbell 7:10
There's a study that I heard about on a TED talk where there's a certain threshold--and they I think they threw up the number 70,000 (I think it's different for different people and work depending on where you live). But there's a threshold where you hit an income level. And once you hit that income level, anything beyond that doesn't provide more happiness, because maybe that's the...I don't know the income level that puts you in some sort of comfort stability. But in any case, that happens and people just, it's not enough to entice you anymore.
Beth Anne Campbell 7:42
So the next comment is from Kaprice. In disclosure, Kaprice is one of my awesome business coaches, hi, Kaprice! And she says, "I've always known I wanted something different. 40 was when I got the balls to take action. I do believe that 40 seems to be the age when we start doing things for ourselves instead. For everyone else." And I talk about this a little bit in the episode about we get to a certain age. And for many people who have gone through the "traditional" trajectory of life, family, marriage, kids, job career, you get into your 40s and 50s and now the kids, if you have them, are older, maybe they're even out of the house. You are at a comfort level with your your career and your experience and your salary. Maybe you've even put a little bit away and you don't have to take care of everyone else anymore. The pressures off a little bit and then once that pressure's off, it's opens the door to "Holy shit! What am I going to do for myself now?" It's very empowering and enlightening, but it's also very frightening as well.
Beth Anne Campbell 8:51
Kimberly says, "I believe it's completely natural to have career expectations change as we mature. It's all a part of us being part of the greater whole. Many companies used to work with their employees to help them plan for the various stages of their careers. This is basically guaranteed loyalty and lower turnover back when a company's greatest asset was its employees. Now it feels as if we have to navigate these changes alone. At least we have social media to find our tribe." I totally agree about social media. I would have not said a year ago that, oh, yeah, social media. I will find friends and have a supportive community. But it's so true. When you let yourself do that and you seek it out. But to Kimberly's point about companies, really this is about value...valuing employees and there are a lot of companies that are very profit oriented and employees are not their number one asset and they will have high turnover rate and lack of loyalty. And that's nobody's fault but the company. That is easily...easily? It is it is definitely avoidable. And it really comes down to valuing your employees as your number one asset. So when you do that, I think you can avoid a lot of this stuff.
Beth Anne Campbell 10:04
And I think there will still be people that need this different type of fulfillment. But like me, I didn't leave because I didn't feel valued. I felt not effective. I felt too much chaos coming at me. But it wasn't a sense of value. The company that I worked for was awesome. It is awesome.
Beth Anne Campbell 10:21
All right. Michelle says "100% my entire adult life. Although I ignored the desire until my mid 40s. I'm an expert business analysts and I've worked with amazing companies, automating systems and building new software applications at various firms. Over time, this wasn't enough and something was missing the importance of adventure, solving problems and making a significant difference in other's personal and work lives is where I migrated to." 100%. Michelle, I completely agree this was me. You are me. I did not feel like I was effective, that I was helping people, that I was able to make things better any longer, I was lost in the system. Again, I worked with great people and a great company. But the system just got too big. And this feeling of needing this different type of fulfillment that she talks about...this adventure, solving problems, making a difference. That was very prevalent in my world as well. So great point.
Beth Anne Campbell 11:21
And finally, in this category in this episode, I have a comment from Susan. Susan says, "happened a little later for me just around 50."-- Susan, you are not over 50 I cannot believe you are over 50 you're 35 tops. Anyway, she says "I'm sure we do get perceived differently as we get older women are judged far more harshly for aging than men are. I believe this is true. But I think my perception was the bigger realization. I liked my job, but I didn't love my job and the commute was a bitch. That's when I asked Is this all there is? Is this how the rest of my life will be? I knew I wanted and needed something else but I had to work with a coach to find it." First of all, great point about the coach, if you had asked me a year ago, Beth, why don't you work with a coach? I would have laughed in your face and said, coaches are for people that don't get it. Now I have two coaches. And I can tell you there for everybody, everybody needs a coach because they are so amazing. And I have two awesome ones. But Susan touches on a great point here that being in her 50s when this happened, she's probably in this very precarious position where she's still got some time before she's retiring. So she maybe she's got 10 or 15 years before she actually retires. But she's also in the middle of her life. And she's recognizing, as we we do that, there's not many more years left. Hopefully we've got another 50 but we know that our lives are half over, and we want to make the rest of the that time meaningful. So she really, I think It picks up on this in her internal process of asking the question is that all there is. And this is a lot of what a lot of people do go through myself included, I want it to be meaningful. If I'm going to have to work for another 10 or 15 years, I want it to be meaningful because I don't have much time left on this earth to make things meaningful. And and that's, I think, where she's coming out.
Beth Anne Campbell 13:24
And finally, let's get to Egos in the workplace, Part one. I did get a lot of comments about this episode, mostly in private so I'm just going to put a general comment here. This is a comment from a woman I follow on Instagram and it is more of a general testimonial, but she did put it on her Instagram Stories while she was listening to this episode Egos in the workplace. Totally made my day. So thank you, thank you for this awesome comment. It really did make my heart go pitter patter. She wrote, "I was in tears laughing at this episode tonight. If you like cussing and brutal honesty, you need to check out this podcast, especially if you're in the corporate world, you'll love it." Thank you so much that sums up exactly why I do this. Thank you, Dawn. I'm glad you can relate. And I hope your husband doesn't think you're crazy.
Beth Anne Campbell Beth Anne Campbell 14:10
All right new feature: FSU asshat. This is a new feature that I'm trying out. It's your opportunity to anonymously call out an asshat in your work life on air. So I asked people to send me the first name of the person that they wanted me to give the FU to and what they wanted me to say to them on air. And I'll be truthful, I did not get a huge response. So this may not be a regular feature, but you know what? You try you fail. And I thought it was fum. So what the hell let's go for it.
Beth Anne Campbell 14:43
So this first one comes from initials LK and this was actually the only one that I got sent to me. I only have two and the other one I asked someone if I could give them an FU, but this is the one one the only one I got, from initials LK and she says "One of the executives at my company, let's call him His Royal Highness. Ethan" - I love this - "was very complimentary of my work in the company after I helped out on a project that was struggling. He invited me to a company event, was practically gushing the whole time. And I even got considered for a role with increased responsibilities a few months later because of it." - Okay, awesome- . "I was feeling good." - I know where this is going. Because I've read it. - "I was feeling good. And I really liked Ethan. He seemed like he thought I had potential and we got along well. Then one day about six months after the company event, my supervisor pulled me aside and told me he was being pressured by His Royal Highness, Ethan to let me go. Why? He my supervisor didn't really know. He said I was doing great and I thought I was doing great. The only thing my supervisor had been told was that His Royal Highness Ethan--" I can't even say with a straight face--"that His Royal Highness Ethan thought I--maybe I should say this with a British accent. "The only thing my supervisor told me was that [Beth affects a horrible British accent] His Royal Highness Ethan thought I made too much money and he wanted someone more technical in my role, which is not actually a technical role. And by the way, I do have a technical degree. Even spent a few years as a coder.."
Beth Anne Campbell 16:21
Well, okay, sounds like you're pretty technical to me. "I didn't end up being let go. But for several months, my stress was through the roof as I wondered if the next phone call was going to be it. PS I still work there and it's hard to forget when someone you respected doesn't value you." Alright, so this is going to be our first FU ASSHAT! Fuck you, Your Royal Highness. Ethan. What the fuck? Is that how you value people? Screw you. LK rocks. There you go. Well, that was fun.
Beth Anne Campbell 16:54
This next one comes from someone called Dubya and full disclosure Dubya is a social media friend of mine. He was recalling an event in a private group and I asked him if I could give the the perpetrator an FU ASSHAT pn this episode and so thank you Dubya for letting me do this. A while back, Dubya wrote this post promoting one of his business products and in this post, he mentioned a statistic on dyslexia. Now, this statistic was not the focus of the post. It was really more about the product that he was offering being able to help someone with dyslexia among other people. Then some random stranger, left a comment on his post. And he not only debunked the statistic on dyslexia--again, this is not the focus and by the way, this was researched by Dubya--but he did sort of very pretentious manner, which--Oh, God, I hate pretentious people. I don't hate them. I just hate their pretentiousness. And then this person went on to promote his own material in the car. No. So after this condescending snob was all done with this rant about what an expert he was, and maybe he could provide some better insight, he ended it with "Wish you well," which is almost like just saying Fuck you.
Beth Anne Campbell 18:18
So first of all, it's considered bad form to self-promote in comments, and on someone else's post, unless you're specifically asked to do that or encouraged to do that in the post, or if it explicitly permits it. But most importantly, if you're going to correct someone publicly in this way, you just know that you're going to come off as an ass, and you better be very careful about how you word it. Because if you go down that road, someone might decide to give you an FU ASSHAT on their podcast. So you mansplaining pretentious, dick....take your goddamn book that's "available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble" and shove it up your condescending ass.
Unknown Speaker 18:56
Now, I know somebody might be saying, Beth, aren't you supposed to be talking about workplace and careers. Well, this person's career is doing what exactly what this is doing. And social media is a way of marketing their stuff. So it's absolutely applies just because you don't work in a brick and mortar office or didn't, or have a traditional type of a company job doesn't mean that you don't deal with all of the assets of the world. So shove it up your condescending ass, you pretentious dick.
Beth Anne Campbell 19:28
Alright, Grit-O'-Honey (did you like that), that's it for day. I'm all FU-ed out. Not really. But that's all I got today. I'll be back next week with a normal-air quotes-normal episode, which will be about the stress of doing too much because I think this is important right? Cafe Grit is not only about calling out the bullshit, it's also figuring out how to make it better and stress is a big part of our work lives and we need to make it better. In that episode, I may tell you about how I threw my phone tripod out until the gully behind my house maybe.
Beth Anne Campbell 20:03
So if you're enjoying the show, please think about giving me a review on the platform of your choice and spread the word to your friends, I would so appreciate it. I'd love to hear your suggestions and feedback. You can find me on LinkedIn at Beth Anne Campbell. Instagram is @thebeann67 that's thebeann with two n's--T H E B E A N N 6 7. And we also have a private Facebook group called Cafe Grit and it is a safe place for you to continue these conversations. So thank you so much once again for stopping by. Have a great week and we will talk to you soon. Take it easy.
Beth Anne Campbell 20:40
Hey everybody, thanks for stopping by Cafe Grit, where the Moxie is fresh, the passion cold brewed and everything is served with a heaping side of Mojo. If you like what's on the menu, please check out the Cafe Grit group on Facebook where I'd love to hear your feedback and continue these conversations. You can also find me on LinkedIn as Beth Anne Campbell. That's Anne with an e. Or by following #cafegrit. And I will be forever beholden if you would give me a quick review on iTunes to make the apple Gods happy. In return, I will wish upon you copious amounts of bacon, your favorite hot beverage and of course pie. The music for this podcast is called Lounge Cafe and it's by Dmitry_Belyaev. You can find more great tunes by Dmitry and others at audiojungle.net. Check it out. Thanks again for stopping by and remember, you don't have to deal with the bullshit and there is something better out there. Let's figure it out together. Take it easy
Transcribed by https://otter.ai